I’ve learned not to hope for too much, and to try to not really get in too deep. That way if I get burned, it’s only slight singe and sooner then later I’ll be over right.
With JP, we’ve been talking for a week, so of course it’s early enough that I won’t get hurt. But I still got caught up with things. He’s been calling me every night while he’s at work, when he’s on his way home, and when he gets home. It’s nice be needed like that, to talk to and whatever.
Well, last night he was supposed to just come over with his friend Chris (I don’t know why either, because originally it was just supposed to be JP ONLY) and instead I see another guy. Okay, whatever I can deal with a third person, even though I don’t want to.
The first thing I was kind of annoyed about was that JP had shaved off his scruffy beard ensemble. I don’t know if he had to for work, but it was weird since I had told him not even two days prior that I loved the scruffiness to which he said “i’m glad!” or something.
So we’re playing Halo 3 for maybe 30 minutes or so, and JP gets a text message. Next thing I know he’s getting his coat on and then he goes outside for about 15 minutes. I had a feeling that it was his ex-girlfriend that had sent him a txt message.
This pretty much ruined the night for me. Obviously this was just an assumption, but his mood had changed and when he got back in, he was quiet. Didn’t say a fucking word at all. They were only here for about an hour and a half when they decided to leave. They had to work at 6am, so it was completely understandable.
The one thing that’s been pissing me off is that JP will talk to ME and just get intimate and you know, shows he’s interested in ME. But the past few times we’ve talked, he keeps joking around about how I’m going to like his friend Chris instead and god knows what else.
He did that last night when they were here. I ended up sending JP an IM last night asking him if he’s only interested in me to pawn me off to his friend and if that was the plan, to let me know. Basically he said that it wasn’t the plan, but in less words, he’s still has to be talking to his ex.
He said that he’s not ready to settle down so soon after the breakup (which I was all WTF about since he said it was basically over three months ago–another thing that makes me think he may still be talking to her.)
I have to admit, that the one thing that pisses me off about this the most, is that if I get dicked over by JP, I don’t think I’m going to have Mark to run back to. We haven’t talked in almost a week (whether it’s mutual or not, I don’t know)… So now if this doesn’t “work” out, then I seriously am. alone.
Amy isn’t talking to me because she’s a raving fucking lunatic. Shits stressful.
I’m also supposed to be going into DeVry today to register for my math class, but guess what. My mom never filled out my financial aide forms over the weekend, so if I go in today, I’m stuck footing the massive bill for ONE class. So.. I don’t think I’m going to go in at all. It sucks that the one thing I want to to, and go to, I can’t because I can’t afford it.
Seriously, how fucked up is that? It’s fucking destroying.
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